Couples Only: The Hotel Booking

By: Kim R.

Over the Christmas holiday one of my best friends, Sarah got engaged to her longtime boyfriend Chris (and when I say longtime, I mean longgggggtime- 8 years…way to get on it Chris!)

Sarah and Chris are two of my favorite people so I was overjoyed with this news.  In over 15 years of friendship, Sarah and I have been through a lot. Between boyfriends (about 50 of them combined), driving past boy’s houses we liked (yes, stalking), working at the Hallmark store in New Jersey where our boss was not only a slave driver but made me cry on a daily basis, driving by those same boy’s houses again, and crashing her car into a snow bank, we’ve done it all!  

I should also mention that at the age of 14, Sarah gave me my first alcoholic beverage: a Malibu Bay Breeze. Yes, Sarah is that kind of friend.

The other day Sarah sent me an e-mail saying they picked the date and location for the wedding. 

The date: April 20, 2013

The place: Antigua

My first thought? Where the hell is Antigua and how the hell do you pronounce it? (It’s a small island in the West Indies and pronounced an-TEE-gwa. The national bird is the Frigatebird. Thanks, Internet!)  

My second thought?  A destination wedding- Sweet! Who doesn’t want to go to the Caribbean, or get a tan, or drink frozen drinks with a little umbrella?  

Even though the wedding's well more than a year away, the resort was having a one-day sale for 50% off the booking price.  

And that’s when things got complicated.

First, let me tell you a few things about myself (in addition to having worked at the Hallmark Store).  I am 28, live in New York City, have a great job, tons of friends...life is pretty good. You’re probably wondering why I left out the part about my “tall, handsome, successful, wonderful, amazing boyfriend with brown hair and blue eyes”.  

That's because he does't exist (yet).

But hey, that’s ok!  I’m totally content with the fact that the most stable relationship in my life recently is with my cleaning lady (Hi Alba!).  Plus…. I work like 58 hours a week so who has time for a boyfriend right?!!? … #SingleGirlExcuses.

So, I went on the resort website, excited to book my all-inclusive trip to An-TEE-gwa.  And have I failed to mention that World Travel Awards named the resort “World’s Most Romantic Resort” for the past 14 years in a row?  Quite an honor.

As I’m typing my name into the website, I realize it automatically assumes you're coming as a “couple” and charges you for two people.  Wait, what? How can they do that? How am I supposed to know what my relationship status will be 65 weeks and four days from now?  You can’t charge me for someone who doesn't exist! And this isn’t even a single girl’s problem.  Who knows who will be with whom in 65 weeks from now!

But it did. 

They wouldn’t even let me book the trip unless I gave them the name of my guest and I couldn’t pass on hundreds of dollars of savings.

I panicked. OMG Who’s name should I give? One of my friend’s?  My dog?  An ex-boyfriend?  Ryan Gosling?

I chose my Mom.

She's my emergency contact and the beneficiary of my life insurance policy, so it only seemed like the logical choice.

And then as I hit submit, I realized that the resort website was laughing at me. Chanting in Antiguan accent, “YOU ARE ALONEEEEEE  KIM HAHAHAHAHAH! LOSER”. 

I also imagined a voice saying, "JUST BECOME A CAT LADY AND DIE ALREADY KIM!!”. 

Ok maybe I'm being dramatic with that last quote but they totally probably said that. 

Believe me, I am used to the “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” question or the more subtle “sooo are you seeing anyone special?” comment, but it took booking a room on a website for a romantic resort to realize, “maybe, I should make this more of a priority in my life?"

I’d even recently taken pride in the fact that I don’t need a man to validate me or make me happy...and then here was this damn hotel trying to tell me that I was WRONGGGGGGGG.

It turns out I'm able to change the name of the second person on my reservation.

Sorry Mom, I love you and all but I'd much rather spend the weekend at the “World’s Most Romantic Resort” with Ryan Gosling (or at least someone who looks like him). 

And I have 458 days to find him. 

But, regardless if I do or not, I can’t wait to share a Malibu Bay Breeze with my best friend on her wedding day!

Follow Kim on her journey before Antigua as she writes updates on Eruptin.com!

Kim was born and raised in New Jersey. She currently resides in New York City where she works in the television industry.  She enjoys morning news talk shows, peanut m&m’s and Friday Night Lights.